Bullying

“Mom, he’s bullying me.” or “I’m being bullied.” Immediately, those words may put us on edge. As parents, we have been so involved in raising our child. We seek the best environments for them – especially in school. We want to be assured, “Is my child treated well? Are they safe? Do they fit in appropriately? Are they able to focus on what they need to focus on?””

Because of the investment we’ve made in our kids and the extra steps we have taken to ensure they are set-up to succeed, it is easy to over-react when we first hear of conflict. We often seek the quickest solution to the discomfort for our child and for ourselves as parents. This is where the titles of helicopter parent or lawnmower (snow plow?) parent sometimes originate.

There is nothing wrong with desiring to help our child, but conflict is complicated. Rarely does a single instance of conflict translate into a major issue. As instances of conflict increase, so do the number of perspectives. Even as young people gain more independence in their “tween” and teen years, parents still tend to believe everything they know is 100% accurate.

Calvary principal, Erich Ahlers, says you can take this to the bank: “As sinners, there will always be struggle with our sinful nature” His approach to working with high school students and parents is to see every instance of conflict as an opportunity for reconciliation, coaching hearts not to win the argument, but to win the relationship. That process starts by ensuring that everyone involved sees the other person as a redeemed child of God. Christ has determined they have value and worth, and we should not pre-judge. We have shortcomings, too and we would be hypocritical to ignore those as we seek to point out others’ failings. The goal is to restore a relationship. We can do that best when we approach the conversation on even ground.

Ahlers shared, “In this world, students of all ages are endlessly bombarded by a secular worldview. For believers in Christ, we have to constantly protect our Biblical worldview. Sometimes students fall short. We all do.” (Romans 3:23) We can rejoice in God’s truth, but, “it’s a joy to see them grow in love and forgiveness.”

Mr. Ahlers is known to say that “the real world walks through our doors (at Calvary) every day. Every person that walks through the front door is a sinner.” Calvary is blessed to be a school with God’s truth. We can call out sin in an effort to curb mistakes and help people grow. But we really rejoice in reconciliation. “Before they leave high school, we want Calvary students to learn how God can be glorified through conflict by reconciling.”

Inspired Performances

Calvary has a bulletin board near the front office that has all of the latest newspaper clippings of the great things our students are doing in athletics, in the arts and in the community. There is newspaper article that was written in 2013 that remains a cornerstone for this display. It’s a story about a game that was played at Calvary during the first fledgling years of our athletic program. It’s a story about competition, sportsmanship and all the good things that come from athletics. The sports journalist reflects on how it was nice to be reminded of the lasting lessons of high school athletics. It was not about wins. It’s about the life lessons that shape choices as future teammates (i.e. spouses, employees) and coaches (i.e. parents, supervisors, employers.)

The Fall sports season wrapped up in the past month. The stories that made the newspaper this season may be about victories, all-state performances and trophies. But there are a couple performances that are just as inspiring.

Our volleyball team had a good season, growing as a team and competing at a high level. At their final home game, the Lady Lions were facing the Missouri School for the Deaf (MSD) from Fulton. As a residential school for hearing impaired students, they don’t have many fans that attend their games. Calvary students usually ensure the Lions Den is a distinct home court advantage. On this night, though, the Calvary students split into two groups. One stayed in the student section and cheered for the Lady Lions. The other half moved down the bleachers to cheer on the visiting MSD volleyball team. After the first set, the two student groups traded places. It was a tremendous demonstration of good will and one that didn’t go unnoticed. A MSD parent called the next day to share how encouraged she and her daughter were from the act of kindness from the Calvary students.

The Calvary girls cross country team had never qualified as a team for the state meet. Sr. Maddie Homfeldt entered this season as a 3-time all-state runner, but was never able to compete for a team trophy… until this year. Soph. Sonja Brunner grew by leaps and bounds as a runner in the off-season to the point where she was beating Maddie and the two pushed each other to excel throughout the season. Two volleyball players also ran cross country when they didn’t have conflicts with their primary sport. They, along with the rest of the team, won Calvary’s first girls cross country District title and went on to finish 3rd in the State in Class 1. Maddie finished as a 4-time all-stater, running the best race of her career at the state meet to finish 5th! Not far behind was Sonja finishing 7th! Maddie was quoted in the newspaper giving her younger teammate credit for her success, “A lot of kids can’t say they look up to someone… if that person is younger than them, but this season, she has been someone for me to follow,” Homfeldt said of Brunner, who finished 34th at state last season. “I followed her today. She ran amazing today, and she helped me get a good spot.”

A Word from the Executive Director:

“Contrast = Clarity”

Contrast means difference. In photography, the most common differences are achieved by changes in the tones or colors. Warm or cold, light or dark, rough or smooth, artificial or natural. This difference is what creates the textures, highlights, shadows, colors and clarity in a photograph.

Our school board recently reviewed Calvary’s mission statement: “Partnering with families at the intersection of education and faith development.” A word that sparked interest was “intersection.” This word choice was purposeful to contrast with the opposite approach: intentionally separating education from faith development.

Too often, we are tempted (or taught) to compartmentalize our life. (First we work, then we play. We aren’t supposed to bring work home.) But, faith is not something to be compartmentalized. Jesus can’t be contained in a box. We shouldn’t try to keep him separate or hide certain aspects of our lives as if he is somehow not all-knowing. Faith should not exist on its own, and it is healthier when it is lived in a community of believers, being infused into every aspect of our lives.

We are blessed to partner with families through their teen’s high school experience. We strive to be that community of believers that nurtures faith in all of God’s people: students and parents. We want our faith, our life and our witness to contrast with the world in order to create texture, highlights, and colors in this life – that others might clearly see Jesus.

We hope this newsletter inspires conversation and invites your feedback. How can we bless you? Drop us a line at GrowingLions@CalvaryLHS.org.

Upcoming Events

• 11/29 Calvary JV Boys Basketball vs. Smithton 5:00 – 6:00 pm
• 11/29 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. Smithton 6:00 – 7:30 pm
• 11/29 Calvary V Boys Basketball vs. Smithton 7:30 – 9:00 pm
• 12/2 Calvary JV Boys Basketball vs. Jamestown 6:00 – 7:00 pm
• 12/2 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. Jamestown 7:00 – 8:30 pm
• 12/2 Calvary V Boys Basketball vs. Jamestown 8:30 – 10:00 pm
• 12/5 Calvary JV Boys Basketball vs. CFS 5:00 – 6:00 pm
• 12/5 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. CFS 6:00 – 7:30 pm
• 12/6 Calvary JV Boys Basketball vs. MMA 6:00 – 7:00 pm
• 12/6 Calvary V Boys Basketball vs. MMA 7:00 – 8:30 pm
• 12/8 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. Maranatha Baptist 5:00 – 6:30 pm
• 12/9 Calvary Christmas Concert 7:00 pm
• 12/12 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. Dixon 6:00 – 7:30 pm
• 12/17 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. Rolla Royals 4:00 – 5:30 pm
• 12/20 Calvary V Girls Basketball vs. MSD 6:00 – 7:30 pm
• 12/21 Calvary JV Boys Basketball vs. Dixon 2:00 – 3:00 pm
• 12/21 Calvary V Boys Basketball vs. Dixon 3:00 – 4:30 pm

Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?

The Who made this line famous years ago…

Now you are likely hearing the song in your head. (You’re welcome.) It is healthy to understand one’s identity – your value and your purpose. There are times in this turbulent, sinful world that we hear God’s words to Elijah, “What are you doing here?” (1 Kings 19) As God’s people (both child and adult), we need to be reminded whose we are and what’s most important.

One of the most important characteristics of a person (or an organization) is being who you say you are. I think that’s what we mean when we hear the words “authentic” or “integrity.” Our children especially want to have confidence in the consistency of words and actions of the adults in their lives: their parents, teachers, coaches & pastor. Teens are great at detecting “phony” and fakes. Their brutal honesty is part of what makes them special and unique in this stage of life.

I cannot speak for you, but I am far from perfect. So, part of my authenticity with the teens I get to interact with is being real about my faults and failures. Not trying to smooth over my missteps or worse, pretending that I don’t make any mistakes. I want to model reconciliation, which can only begin with humility and repentance. Only then, can we journey together to the cross – to share the powerful word of Jesus himself, “I forgive you.” Embrace this Scriptural model (Matthew 18) in your home. It is powerful. Each time I have walked that road of reconciliation with a teenager or an adult, we end in a stronger relationship than when we started. Be real! Not perfect!

If you would like to know more about Biblical Peacemaking and how to incorporate reconciliation into your daily habits as a parent, spouse or co-worker, you can explore this link for instruction and resources including Ken Sande’s book, “The Peacemaker.”

Intentional about Relationships

One of Calvary’s core values is being “relationship-driven.” We are committed to ensuring students are connecting inside and outside school. This begins for new students with Calvary’s New Student Retreat: 3 days and 2 nights of relationship-building, growing in Christ and enjoying some time of recreation and relaxation at the Lutheran Camp at Heit’s Point. Often referred to as the highlight of the year, we had 70 students attend this July.

About every 6 weeks, Calvary students come back to school on a Friday night to have fun together at Game Night. There are games, food and lots of good, clean fun. Over ⅔ of the student body regularly attends Game Nights to spend time with their peers and enjoy some “down time” together.

Friday of the first full week of school, we host a Back-to-School BBQ for the entire Calvary family. Calvary students, parents and their siblings join teachers and their families as we celebrate the beginning of a new school year. More than a new year, it is a celebration of togetherness – a tight-knit community whose goal is to Build Christian Leaders.

As with any family, communication is key at Calvary. We know that strong relationships are dependent on good communication. We want parents to know what’s going on in their teen’s school life and how they are invited to be involved. We publish a weekly school newsletter to keep everyone on top of upcoming events plus we send a specific weekly email for athletics to ensure parents have up-to-date game times along with directions to away contests. As conditions warrant, Calvary also uses mass texting to communicate timely information.

All this is important to ensure a strong connection between home and school. More communication makes it easier to trust, and as our children become teens, they want more autonomy. The emphasis on communication gives parents a sense of comfort for students to make their own decisions while also having important context. We want to be supportive partners with you in growing Lions.

A Word from the Executive Director: The “A” Word

Currently at Calvary, we are finalizing our accreditation self-study in preparation for a validation team to visit in November. They will be specifically looking to see if we are who we say we are. In our mission statement, we say we are partnering with families at the intersection of education and faith development. It is our vision to be a relational Christian community engaging the world as servant leaders. Are we? Accreditation is all about school improvement.

We understand that we are all “in-process.” We need Christian community to support our growth – through trials and celebrations. Calvary is providing a space for teenagers to be together – to share life and to grow in faith.

We hope this newsletter inspires conversation and invites your feedback. How can we bless you? Drop us a line at GrowingLions@CalvaryLHS.org.

Upcoming Events

10/1 CLHS Lions Cross Country Invitational at Binder 9:00 – 11:45 am

• 10/7 CLHS Baseball vs St. Elizabeth 4:30 – 6:30 pm
• 10/8 CCAA Baseball Tournament 10:00 am – 5:00 pm
• 10/10 CLHS Soccer vs Moberly 4:30 – 6:00 pm
• 10/10 CLHS Volleyball vs CIS 6:00 – 8:00 pm
• 10/11 Survive & Thrive
• 10/14 Calvary Fall Drama 7:00 pm
• 10/15 Calvary Fall Drama 6:00 pm
• 10/15 Calvary Open House 2:00 – 4:00 pm
• 10/18 CLHS Volleyball vs MSD 6:00 – 8:00 pm
• 10/24 CLHS Soccer vs Iberia 4:30 – 6:00 pm
• 11/1 Calvary Open House 7:00 – 8:00 pm
• 11/7 Calvary Open House 7:00 – 8:00 pm